The people on your team like you and know just how competent you are, but they won’t bring you  problems until there’s a full-blown crisis. They’re hesitant to share their thoughts in meetings. They answer questions with short cryptic answers. There is a lot of agreement, but very little debate. People seem to be holding back. The issue isn’t your competence or how much they like you; the issue is trust.

Trust is your team’s belief that you’ll do what you say you’ll do, that you have their best interests in mind, and that it’s safe to be honest with you. Without trust, you don’t get the information you need to lead effectively. With it, issues get resolved, crises are avoided and productivity soars.

Many managers focus on knowing as much or more than the people on their teams. They believe that their competence is what gains their respect and that being liked builds good relationships. With those two things, surely there will be trust. Not necessarily.

A 2002 Harvard Business Review study found that there are three key factors that lead to building trust:

• Consistency
• Good Judgement
• Strong connections

Notice that technical competence isn’t one of them.

Let people know what to expect

Think about it from your team’s perspective. They already know you’re competent. That’s why you got promoted. What they don’t know yet is whether they can count on you.

Will you follow through when things get difficult? Will you enforce the standards you set even when it’s uncomfortable? Will you do what you said you’d do even when no one’s watching?

When people know what to expect, they are going to be happier and more productive. You can set higher standards than they are comfortable with as well as harsher punishments than they think is fair. They may not even like you. But if they know what to expect, they can focus on accomplishing their goals rather than worrying about how you might respond to something.

People would rather work for a boss they don’t like but know what to expect from, than a boss they do like but are uncertain of.

A 2005 study in the Journal of Leadership and Organizational Studies found that consistency creates an environment where people tell you what you need to hear rather than what you want to hear. That’s what you’re after – not proving you’re the smartest person in the room, but creating a space where your team trusts you enough to be honest with you.

Transparency & Consistency Builds Trust

When you first become the leader of a team, or a new member joins your team, be transparent. Let them know what you expect of them and what they can expect of you. Let them know the consequences will be if consequences aren’t met. This conversation may seem a little awkward and clunky. But it is far easier to have it up front in a calm and rational way than it is to explain your expectations after things have gone wrong and are heated.

Once you have set those expectations, follow through with rigorous consistency. You may think you are being nice if someone breaks a rule and you let it slide “just this once”, but you are actually making things more difficult for yourself and your team. It’s confusing for your team, who wonders if this is still a rule or not. If you let it slide one time, how will you decide when to enforce it? When you do enforce it, how will you justify to your team why it was enforced this time?

What seems like a kindness by not enforcing standards actually makes things harder on everyone.

Stop and think before  you commit

I have to stress the importances of being careful with your commitments. It is vitally important that you follow through on your commitments if you want to gain the trust of your team. Sometimes following through is hard and means staying late, working harder, skipping lunch or doing something that makes you uncomfortable. Sometimes you overcommit on what you are able to do and it turns out to be impossible. Whatever the case, the person you make the commitment to is going to feel let down, and trust will erode. Here are some ways to make it easier to meet your commitments are

• Commit to actions, not results: Your actions are under your control, the results are not. If you commit to getting $1M in funding for a project, you may or may not succeed. If you commit to presenting the benefits of the project in no uncertain terms at the next programs meeting, your are in control of your success.
• Pause before you commit: Whether it is at work or with family and friends, you are often going to be asked to join people at some event. The automatic reaction for most of us is to say “yes.” Instead, pause before you respond. It may be a quick pause to evaluate how busy you are, it may be that you need to consult your calendar before committing.
• Either say no or commit to something:  Just saying that you want to do something but can’t commit leaves a bad taste in people’s mouth. They would rather have a firm “no” so that they know what to expect and can plan accordingly. If you can’t commit to what they ask, but are not ready to say no, commit to making a decision by a deadline. Saying “I want to but can’t commit right now. I will let you know by the end of the week” is letting them know that you are interested, respect their request and are willing to make at least some commitment. It may not be what they hoped for, but they will respect it.

Focus on the team, not on yourself

One of the fastest ways to lose the trust of people on your team is by making things about yourself.

• Focusing on showing that you know the most.
• Jumping in to solve problems that they would have been able to solve.
• Taking credit for other’s accomplishments
• Making your own job easier while making theirs harder

Instead, focus on the people on your team. What are they good at, what have they accomplished, what can you do to help them get to the next level and how can you make their job easier. When you focus on yourself, you start to lose them. When you put the focus on them, trust grows and the team flourishes.

When Trust Breaks, Acknowledge it and Repair it.

Mistakes happen. They can’t be avoided. What matters is how you handle them.

If a person on your team didn’t follow through on a commitment, you don’t need to make them feel bad about it. They already do. Sure, you have to follow through on what the consequences, but let them know that, while you may be frustrated, you aren’t mad. The goal now is to help them figure out how to meet standards and expectations the next time.

If you’re the one who mis-stepped, own it. Admit your mistake, acknowledge the difficulty that it caused other people, and let your team know what steps you are going to take in order to ensure it doesn’t happen again. Sometimes, owning up to a mistake and fixing it will gain you more trust than if you hadn’t made the mistake at all. Sometimes…not always.

The Bottom Line

Trust isn’t built by being the smartest person in the room. It’s built by being the most dependable one. Let people know what to expect from you and what you expect from them. Be rigorous in maintaining the rules and standards you have put in place. Be consistent in following through on what you said you would do, and if you make a mistake, own it. Most importantly, focus on continuous improvement and productivity. Let them know why your standards are going to help everyone achieve more. Help them develop the skills they need to meet the standards you set. Point out what you will do better when you make a mistake.

When your team knows they can count on you, they’ll bring you problems while they’re still manageable. They’ll speak up in meetings and share their ideas. When people point out potential problems as well as potential improvements without fear, team productivity can go to the next level.

Want to Dive Deeper about Building Trust?

Check out these podcast episodes for more on building trust as a leader:

Episode #64 with Natalie Doyle Oldfield (30 minutes) – An in-depth conversation about trust-building strategies and leadership communication.

Episode #87: Building Trust and Deepening Connections (9 minutes) – A focused solo episode with practical tactics you can implement immediately.

Choose whichever format works best for your schedule. Both will help you strengthen the foundation of trust with your team.