Implicit vs. Explicit Communication: Why “Clear” Isn’t Always Clear
“I asked you to bring the laundry basket upstairs.”. When told her I didn’t remember that she said “I left it at the bottom of the stairs, you knew that’s what I wanted!” I am sure most people would have understood what was implied, but I barely noticed that the basket was there, never mind understanding what it meant. We both walked away frustrated. This is the implicit vs. explicit communication gap in action.
As a society, most of us imply meaning and speak indirectly; it makes communication safer. When you hint rather than ask, you can’t be rejected or embarrassed. That’s how human society evolved. Being part of a group was crucial to survival, so being careful to avoid hurt feelings, your own or someone else’s, was a valuable skill.
Not everyone’s brain receives information on that wavelength. Some people process language exactly as it arrives, with no interpretation. When the message is implied rather than stated directly, it can feel like someone encoded the message. Since the conversation isn’t a secret, no effort is made to decode the words, and confusion ensues. It’s not out of inattention or laziness; it’s due to an expectation of precision.
The Literal Processor
If you say, “I wonder if someone should help with this,” a literal processor hears a theoretical musing, not an implied request. “I am going to need this soon” might be ignored because “soon” is so vague that the sentence had no real meaning for them.
This type of literal interpretation is most commonly associated with autism spectrum processing, but it shows up across a much wider population. Many people with technical excellence are literal processors. They tend to be precise, catch errors others miss and ask questions most are too embarrassed to ask. When building a team, implicit communication is needed to keep things running smoothly. When handling complex problems or situations, explicit communication is key.
For most individuals, the imprecision of the words works because context around the words makes the meaning clear. That’s not the case for everyone.
The Emotional Channel Problem – Alexithymia
Most implied communication isn’t just indirect, it’s emotionally coded. Volume, tone of voice and body language can convey an enormous amount of information. The emotional signals may provide additional meaning to what was said. Even more often, they reflect the gravity of what is being said. There is a condition called alexithymia. It’s derived from the Greek for “No words for feelings.” People with alexithymia have trouble understanding the emotions behind others’ words, as well as difficulty understanding and expressing their own emotions.
Alexithymia affects roughly 10% of the general population but that jumps to almost half of the autistic population. When the words themselves are mild and the non-verbal cues are expected to deliver the meaning, that isn’t likely to be effective. On the flip side, someone like me expects that people will receive the exact meaning of my words without any non-verbal cues. I once dated a woman who told me that I should have a sign that I hold up when I am saying something emotionally important. Even though my words were emotionally charged, the neutral expression and monotone voice made it hard for her to believe what I was saying.
This inability to interpret or share non-verbal cues can make conversations challenging. However, it also provides the ability to evaluate what is being said without being swayed by a person’s charm or getting caught up in their enthusiasm. When objective judgement is required, this is an invaluable trait.
Plan of Action
-Interacting with a person with alexithymia: If they respond to your words but not your delivery, make sure that your words precisely reflect the message you are trying to give. If they speak on an important topic unemotionally, be sure to pay close attention to the words and believe the words over the expression of emotion.
-If you have alexithymia: If a person’s tone and hand gestures seem overblown compared to their words, or if a person’s response to your words is out of scale to the import of your words, take note. In both cases stop and confirm that you are both on the same page. “You look and sound like this is very important and I think I am missing something, can you explain that again?” or “Please stop and pay attention because this is very important for me.” It may feel clunky, but it is well worth it in order for both parties to understand where the other is coming from.
In both cases, when the emotion level of words and body language don’t match, stop and take notice. It is always worth checking in with the other person to ensure you are on the same page
The Bottom Line
We assume that other people give and receive information the same way we do. While growing up and being surrounded by family or going to school and choosing to spend time with people who think the way you do, that assumption usually works.
Once you move into management or lead a cross-functional team, those assumptions are likely to cause issues.
If you are frustrated with someone who seems to either not pay attention to what you say or not care, stop and analyze the message you delivered. When I hear someone say in frustration “I clearly stated…” they are usually incorrect. It may have been clear to the people who process the same way, but for others, it was just words. Pay attention to whether you gave your message implicitly, or explicitly.
Does This Affect Your Organization?
Are your teams struggling to navigate the communication gaps that come with cognitive diversity? If so, you are not alone. As a speaker and facilitator, those are exactly the challenges that I help organizations alleviate. Let’s talk about what that could look like for your next event or leadership session.
“I asked you to bring the laundry basket upstairs.”. When told her I didn’t remember that she said “I left it at the bottom of the stairs, you knew that’s what I wanted!” I am sure most people would have understood what was implied, but I barely noticed that the basket was there, never mind understanding what it meant. We both walked away frustrated. This is the implicit vs. explicit communication gap in action.
As a society, most of us imply meaning and speak indirectly; it makes communication safer. When you hint rather than ask, you can’t be rejected or embarrassed. That’s how human society evolved. Being part of a group was crucial to survival, so being careful to avoid hurt feelings, your own or someone else’s, was a valuable skill.
Not everyone’s brain receives information on that wavelength. Some people process language exactly as it arrives, with no interpretation. When the message is implied rather than stated directly, it can feel like someone encoded the message. Since the conversation isn’t a secret, no effort is made to decode the words, and confusion ensues. It’s not out of inattention or laziness; it’s due to an expectation of precision.
The Literal Processor
If you say, “I wonder if someone should help with this,” a literal processor hears a theoretical musing, not an implied request. “I am going to need this soon” might be ignored because “soon” is so vague that the sentence had no real meaning for them.
This type of literal interpretation is most commonly associated with autism spectrum processing, but it shows up across a much wider population. Many people with technical excellence are literal processors. They tend to be precise, catch errors others miss and ask questions most are too embarrassed to ask. When building a team, implicit communication is needed to keep things running smoothly. When handling complex problems or situations, explicit communication is key.
For most individuals, the imprecision of the words works because context around the words makes the meaning clear. That’s not the case for everyone.
The Emotional Channel Problem – Alexithymia
Most implied communication isn’t just indirect, it’s emotionally coded. Volume, tone of voice and body language can convey an enormous amount of information. The emotional signals may provide additional meaning to what was said. Even more often, they reflect the gravity of what is being said. There is a condition called alexithymia. It’s derived from the Greek for “No words for feelings.” People with alexithymia have trouble understanding the emotions behind others’ words, as well as difficulty understanding and expressing their own emotions.
Alexithymia affects roughly 10% of the general population but that jumps to almost half of the autistic population. When the words themselves are mild and the non-verbal cues are expected to deliver the meaning, that isn’t likely to be effective. On the flip side, someone like me expects that people will receive the exact meaning of my words without any non-verbal cues. I once dated a woman who told me that I should have a sign that I hold up when I am saying something emotionally important. Even though my words were emotionally charged, the neutral expression and monotone voice made it hard for her to believe what I was saying.
This inability to interpret or share non-verbal cues can make conversations challenging. However, it also provides the ability to evaluate what is being said without being swayed by a person’s charm or getting caught up in their enthusiasm. When objective judgement is required, this is an invaluable trait.
Plan of Action
-Interacting with a person with alexithymia: If they respond to your words but not your delivery, make sure that your words precisely reflect the message you are trying to give. If they speak on an important topic unemotionally, be sure to pay close attention to the words and believe the words over the expression of emotion.
-If you have alexithymia: If a person’s tone and hand gestures seem overblown compared to their words, or if a person’s response to your words is out of scale to the import of your words, take note. In both cases stop and confirm that you are both on the same page. “You look and sound like this is very important and I think I am missing something, can you explain that again?” or “Please stop and pay attention because this is very important for me.” It may feel clunky, but it is well worth it in order for both parties to understand where the other is coming from.
In both cases, when the emotion level of words and body language don’t match, stop and take notice. It is always worth checking in with the other person to ensure you are on the same page
The Bottom Line
We assume that other people give and receive information the same way we do. While growing up and being surrounded by family or going to school and choosing to spend time with people who think the way you do, that assumption usually works.
Once you move into management or lead a cross-functional team, those assumptions are likely to cause issues.
If you are frustrated with someone who seems to either not pay attention to what you say or not care, stop and analyze the message you delivered. When I hear someone say in frustration “I clearly stated…” they are usually incorrect. It may have been clear to the people who process the same way, but for others, it was just words. Pay attention to whether you gave your message implicitly, or explicitly.
Does This Affect Your Organization?
Are your teams struggling to navigate the communication gaps that come with cognitive diversity? If so, you are not alone. As a speaker and facilitator, those are exactly the challenges that I help organizations alleviate. Let’s talk about what that could look like for your next event or leadership session.
