I took a little over a month off from writing my blog and my newsletter. With work being busy and getting ready for my book launch, I was feeling overwhelmed. I made the conscious decision to take a break from writing.

That break was the most productive thing I could have done! Most of us rarely allow ourselves the time to just stop and self-reflect. I have to admit that I surprised myself with what I found. Surprised and honestly scared about what I need to do next. I need to reveal more of my true self to the world.

My first book, “The Little Kids” is a collection of stories from my childhood as well as the lessons I learned from each. It was scary to let people know that much about me. My next book, which launches on July 28^th, isn’t directly about me, but it reveals a great deal about how my brain works and why I grew up having a tough time understanding people. Between the two books, it feels like people will know everything there is to know about me.

I also realized that the hand drums I play are a great way to demonstrate why communication can be so difficult, so I’ve decided to start using them strategically in speaking engagements. I normally only play for myself, so playing in front of large audiences is scary.

I’ve also been thinking about how to step up my social media engagement. It dawned on me that clips from the podcast and articles that I write help people to understand my business, but might not grab people’s attention. Clips of me drumming or doing stand-up and improv might, but those things are personal. I have always felt the need to keep my personal and business life separate. But why?

Much of the answer boils down to baggage from growing up. In a family as large as mine, there was a lot of good-natured joking and sarcasm. Sometimes not so good-natured. I learned early not to share too much of what I was feeling at any given time for fear it could be used against me. On top of that, due to the unique way my brain works, kids at school often called me “weird.”  Between that and natural insecurity, I learned to compartmentalize my life and only share limited portions with each group of people I interact with. I hesitate to introduce friends to my family or integrate multiple groups of friends. It feels like they each might reveal what they know of me to the other group, and that feels like too much.

Does that make sense anymore? Probably not, but it is not easy to unlearn the things I have always known. There is a story about someone training a baby elephant by tethering it to a large stake in the ground. Try as it might, it couldn’t move it. By the time the elephant was full grown, it could have easily pulled out the stake. But it had learned from childhood that it was impossible, so it doesn’t bother trying. It’s hard to see past the limitations we imposed upon ourselves in our childhood, but it’s well worth it.

I now realize that not only are those personal things I tend to keep separated ok to share, they actually help make me better at my job. Standup helps with my keynotes by helping me find the humor in things as well as being purposeful with my timing and delivery. Improv helps me to see things from other people’s points of view and is good practice for when unexpected things come up. Then there are the drums. Drumming is good for rhythm, which also helps with timing on stage. In fact, a study shows that drumming induces plasticity in the brain and helps strengthen neural connections. Now my drums themselves will be part of my talks.

The other question that makes me hesitate is the question “Am I any good?” I am a self-taught drummer and I’ve never done standup on a big stage, only small local ones. My first thought is that I honestly think that I am. I get a lot of laughs and great feedback from my shows. When I am drumming, it feels like I am channeling someone who knows how to drum. I don’t think about it – it just happens. When I switch to a different type of hand drum, my hands automatically shift the way they interact with the new drum. I watch my hands and am amazed.

The second answer to the question of “Am I any Good?” is …who cares? Whatever my level of skill, the act of doing a thing and practicing it automatically makes me better. Plus, the audience wants us to succeed. Whether it is speaking in public, doing standup or drumming, people aren’t looking for ways to cut you down. They are looking for ways to enjoy what you are sharing. They are rooting for you.

It’s time for me to trust my audience. With the first book, I opened the gates of sharing personal information to the world. Since that ship has already sailed, it is easier to publish the second. Now I need to let go and stop resisting each new step. Going forward, check out my Linkedin, Youtube and Instagram pages. You’ll get great information that I learned from research or from Podcast guests. You’ll also get to see some drumming, some comedy and some improv and see how it shapes the way I coach and the way I deliver Keynotes and workshops.

What are some of your hobbies, interests or personality traits that you can incorporate into your job? What are some self limiting beliefs you have from your childhood that it’s time to let go? Keep those questions in the back of your mind, and the next time you go for a walk or have other quiet time, you might surprise yourself with the answer.